Xenosaga: Morgenröte
by LegendaryFro
Summary: They say things are darkest just before the dawn. I hope my dawn comes soon, because I can't imagine a darker world than one without her. ::KOS-MOS x Shion. Some chapters rated M later. Possibility of character death::
1. Introduction: Drifting

Stars… innumerable stars

Author's note: Yay, I'm writing again! And I'm back into Xenosaga, woo again! I know my first story was kinda craptastic, so hopefully this one will be better! Now, read!

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Stars… innumerable stars. I used to dream about them, to look out over their vast expanses and imagine what it would be like to fly to each and every one. Of course, I never thought about how illogical that would be, without some sort of ship at least, but the idea was so romantic, and besides, I was only a child.

But now, tonight, I gaze out over the stars, and my eyes lock on just one. A single star in this entire kosmos. It's her guardian star, I know it, for it glows brighter than any other star to me. As long as that star's there, I know she is, too. Somewhere out there, waiting for me… and I'll find her. All I have to do is keep searching. Keep hoping…

But what's the use? She could be anywhere, there's an entire universe and only one of her. Even if I could travel thousands of times the speed I'm going, I could never search this whole damn universe.

And there's the catch 22… I can stare at a star all I want, but that doesn't mean anything. Even if it is her star, even if she is waiting… its all about the numbers. One star for every life… innumerable lives. What's to say she hasn't already been found? Or even that I have the right star…

--Xenosaga: Morgenröte--

Quiet… peaceful… I have never felt s- running system diagnostic and damage calculations. External damage: 78 percent. Internal damage: 60 percent. Running on reserve power. Reserve power at 15 percent, estimated remaining run time is four hours. Major damage to main syst…em…

have never felt so calm. How long have I drifted? Was the sacrifice worth- the sacrifice- was the… worth… sacrifice worth it? I knew when I said- when I- knew when I said goodbye it would b-b-be forever… but it was to save her, right?

My pain will only la- pain will only la- memory drives and systems damaged, chances of permanent loss at 83 percent. Immediate repair necessary to prevent furth… er…

Quiet… peaceful… what am I waiting for? I've got so much more to do…

Shion, I'm so… so…


	2. Chapter One: Lang Lebe Leben

Chapter One: Muss Träumen

Chapter One: Lang Lebe Leben

"I feel so alone" the brunette scientist murmured, still gazing out into space.

"I'm surrounded by my friends… no, these people are my family now… and I've never felt so alone"

She paced back and forth along the glass wall, giving a long, heavy sigh. Her chocolate brown hair hung down past her shoulders, the still wet locks making wet trails along the only slightly less than pale skin of her back. Her dark emerald eyes stayed fixated on that one point, that one star she had found.

"Please, tell me what to do… speak to me, show me where to go"

She got no response, not that she expected one. She finally, after a long struggle, broke her gaze from the burning point in the night sky. She strode slowly to her bed stand and gripped her thick glasses tightly. The same glasses she had worn so long ago, the day they first met. Her fingers closed tighter and tighter until the frames began to creak, at which point she released.

"I miss you" she sighed, her eyes welling up with another storm of tears. She fell listlessly onto her bed, weakly gripping those spectacles. She pushed her head into that blue pillow and let her body tremble and quake with her sorrow. It was only a matter of minutes before her arms slipped under the pillow and she rolled. Her hands were wet; her pillow had been soaked through.

She was in pain. They both were, both drifting aimlessly without the other. Both girls' minds were utterly lost, their thoughts confused and distorted, constantly shifting and swirling, slowly deteriorating. They were incomplete.

"KOS-MOS... Please, help me find you…"

Her head slowly turned, her eyes flicking towards the white rabbit alarm clock on her dresser. 4:30 a.m. Her alarm would go off in an hour, but she'd be ready. She hadn't slept for more than twenty hours each week for the last month, and she didn't intend to drop the new habit now.

Her hair was almost dry now, and her crying was steadily stopping. She'd have to wait a bit to leave her room, let the redness take its leave of her eyes in its own time. She couldn't let anyone know how upset she was, or how much pain she was in, they had enough on their minds.

A heavy sigh filled the room. She stood again and opened her dresser, third drawer from the top. "Pink or blue?" She wondered. After a long few moments, she finally decided on blue and slid the garment up her legs, letting the elastic waistband snap around her hips. An image flashed in her mind, a memory. Her combat android lay beside her. Lithe, synthetic muscles overlay her strong bones of metal, her darkened cream skin concealing the awesome power that lay beneath. Her long blue hair flowed to her knees, her eyes glowed crimson, her body, and her lips, were flushed red and… so soft.

"KOS-MOS…" she mused, and then sighed sadly again. It was happening more and more, every little thing reminded her of the woman. She couldn't escape the pain, no matter what she did. She pulled out a pair of long, cream colored pants and a blank black t-shirt and slid into them, then hurried into the bathroom to comb her hair.

She paused as she entered the bathroom and gasped, gripping her stomach. She fell to her knees in front of the toilet and began to dry heave. A tiny tickle of blood flowed up her throat, down her tongue and dripped into the water. She swallowed hard and stumbled to her feet, gripping the sink for support.

"Nngh… I guess I should eat something" she murmured. Her body had been agreeing with her for the past twenty days, first with a fierce growling, then with intermittent pains, and now with blood. She hadn't eaten much of anything since she had been separated from her android and her brother; her grief had taken priority over her health. She shuffled her feet into a pair of flip-flops, tied her hair up into a tight ponytail, and headed for the kitchen area.

The wall clock told her it was 4:56; she would be the only one awake for a while yet. She continued to muse on the loss of her brother as she cooked, trying her hardest not to cry again. Her mind fought hard, though, and she could feel the tears run down her cheeks. Her egg cracked open and missed the pan. She didn't notice. Her hand went down to the handle. It missed as well, and she snapped back to reality as her hand sizzled and pain shot up her arm.

She tore her hand back and whimpered at the burns now darkening her skin, then grasped the pan firmly by the handle and hurled it across the room, screaming in frustration. It clanged noisily against the metal walls. Her body slowly slumped, and she rested against the counter behind her, sobbing softly.

She awoke an hour or so later to a hand softly shaking her, and looked up groggily towards the worried figure shaking her. Her hand grasped the soft hand on her shoulder, and she winced and hissed in pain.

"Shion! Shion, are you okay?!" a pink haired girl of about 14 cried with concern. Her cheeks were flushed red with fear for her friend. "What happened to your hand?!" she gasped, pulling out a roll of gauze and quickly wrapping the hand in a bandage.

"I… its okay, MOMO… I just hurt myself cooking…" she sputtered out sleepily. She stood and gave her young friend a soft smile. "Thanks… I'll go get it checked out soon" Her uninjured hand brushed over MOMO's hair, and the smaller girl gave a nervous, worried laugh. "Is anyone else up?"

"Mhm! Junior and Ziggy are in the dining hall" she replied softly with a nod, still watching that burned hand. "Lets go in there, kay?" she asked, tugging on Shion's uninjured hand. Shion giggled softly as well and stumbled off after her friend.

The door slid open for them, and they were greeted by the smiling faces of a magenta-haired boy, again around 14 in appearance, and a blond haired man with mechanical legs and a robotic arm, appearing about 35.

"Good to see you again Snow White!" the younger looking boy called out. "I was getting worried I'd have to come kiss you and wake you up!" he joked, receiving a soft laugh from Shion and Ziggy and a glare from MOMO.

"Have you been well, Shion?" Ziggy asked in a low, near monotone voice. Shion nodded to him. "Mhm. I've just been thinking a lot lately". They all gave a solemn nod, and Junior gave a sigh. "Well, that's what we have each other for, right? To comfort each other!" MOMO chimed in cheerily.

"Yeah, I guess you're right!" Junior remarked happily. "So, who needs comforting?" he offered with a wide grin. No one responded, but Shion sank a little. "Aw come on, don't let my offer go to waste! I don't offer this every day you know!" Junior complained, then crossed his arms and stood up. "Well fine, I'm gonna go cook, since no one else is. MOMO, you gonna come with?"

"Sure! Knowing you, you'll need the help!" the young girl smirked and skipped happily behind her friend. The doors opened, Junior mumbled something with an annoyed tone to MOMO as they entered, and the doors slid shut again.

"Ziggy… can I talk to you, please? I think… I don't think I'm doing as well as I said I was…" Shion asked with a shy, forlorn tone. She slid into the seat beside him, her head hanging low.

"Ah… uhm… I suppose, if you think I can be of assistance" he stuttered, keeping his cool, collected voice, despite his obvious nervousness. He turned slightly and kept his attention on Shion, who slowly slid down and rested her head in his lap.

"Now then, what is it you need, Shion?"

"I don't know, I just… I need… I want you to tell me something…"


End file.
